I Think I have the Weirdest Kids in the World

I think I have the weirdest kids in the world. Despite my husband and my efforts to raise proper, respectful kids, we have kids that are weird. Everyday there is a conversation in our house revolving around bodily excretions like poo and pee. There are moments of play that involve someone sticking their butt in someone else's face. What caught me the most off guard was when my daughter, you know, that girly girl, turns around and attempts to sniff her own butt after letting out gas. I mean COME ON! Our kids have been punished for talking like this and acting like total animals, yet their activities of the like persist. I have no idea why they insist on doing this, and even more so frustrated when my daughter acts like this!
Lexi hates to brush her hair, and she can't stand to brush her teeth. When she picks out her clothes, it looks like she got dressed in the dark. She insists on wearing this size six dress whe she wears a size eight. She comes home from school with holes in her tights the size of Texas and she wears out the soles of her shoes in 4.2 seconds. I don't get it.
Then there is Noah. He thinks he is a human incarnation of Sonic the hedghog. The only thing that would get this child across the soccer field and kick a goal was if you said "GO SONIC!" Really, this is my child. He carries around plastic K'nex toys assembled in a 'T' shape and calls it the Egg Carrier Where Egg Man lives. Yep, he is a Sonic character. He will wear his red Sonic Shirt for three days and that would include wearing it to bed. He also happens to be a strangely articulate child when he speaks.
Adam is our youngest. He is also quite strange. Out of the three of our children, he has the biggest sweet tooth and keeping him away from sweets is like keeping a fish from water. He loves to jump off of things like a flying squirrel, but he is also terribly afraid of heights. He is the biggest helper of the family; he has to be doing or helping with whatever you are doing. He loves to help cook dinner, insists on pushing around his kid sized vacuum cleaner whenever I vacuum the floor, and he pulls weeds and does yard work. He is three years old and his persistence on acting like an adult makes me terribly baby feverish.