Mortality

This past few weeks have been a bombshell what with all the celebrity deaths and all. In learning more about the circumstances around these deaths I began thinking more heavily about my own mortality, more so now than ever. Billy Mays and Michael Jackson died in their sleep. Sometime through the course of the night their breathing slowed, their hearts stopped and they ceased to exist. This is terribly frightening considering they both went to bed thinking about what they needed to or were going to do the next day. Perhaps they went to bed contemplating plans for the future, a future that would never be.
Last week I woke up at 1:37 a.m. and I was terrified. My body was tingling from head to toe and felt slightly like I was paralyzed although I was able to move. My head was pounding something fierce. I got up,went to the bathroom and took some Excedrine Migraine. As I lay back down, the tingle sensation still there, I began to pray. I have never been deeply religious and for the first time I felt a dear, driving need to pray. And so when I had conclude my conversation with God, I closed my eyes and hoped that they would open the following morning.
I know it seems as though I might have completely overexxaggerated, but let me be clear, I have never felt that sensation before and knowing that one could jus die in their sleep, freaks me just straight out. I was glad to wake up, and I have not felt that way ever since.
Knowing that a life can be lost so quickly without even so much as a warning makes me afraid. I am not ready to die. I am not ready to meet my maker and regardless of what anyone says, I would rather be here, on earth with the family I love and have promised to raise and provide for than in Heaven where there is no pain, hearthache or fear.