I think I have the weirdest kids in the world. Despite my husband and my efforts to raise proper, respectful kids, we have kids that are weird. Everyday there is a conversation in our house revolving around bodily excretions like poo and pee. There are moments of play that involve someone sticking their butt in someone else's face. What caught me the most off guard was when my daughter, you know, that girly girl, turns around and attempts to sniff her own butt after letting out gas. I mean COME ON! Our kids have been punished for talking like this and acting like total animals, yet their activities of the like persist. I have no idea why they insist on doing this, and even more so frustrated when my daughter acts like this!
Lexi hates to brush her hair, and she can't stand to brush her teeth. When she picks out her clothes, it looks like she got dressed in the dark. She insists on wearing this size six dress whe she wears a size eight. She comes home from school with holes in her tights the size of Texas and she wears out the soles of her shoes in 4.2 seconds. I don't get it.
Then there is Noah. He thinks he is a human incarnation of Sonic the hedghog. The only thing that would get this child across the soccer field and kick a goal was if you said "GO SONIC!" Really, this is my child. He carries around plastic K'nex toys assembled in a 'T' shape and calls it the Egg Carrier Where Egg Man lives. Yep, he is a Sonic character. He will wear his red Sonic Shirt for three days and that would include wearing it to bed. He also happens to be a strangely articulate child when he speaks.
Adam is our youngest. He is also quite strange. Out of the three of our children, he has the biggest sweet tooth and keeping him away from sweets is like keeping a fish from water. He loves to jump off of things like a flying squirrel, but he is also terribly afraid of heights. He is the biggest helper of the family; he has to be doing or helping with whatever you are doing. He loves to help cook dinner, insists on pushing around his kid sized vacuum cleaner whenever I vacuum the floor, and he pulls weeds and does yard work. He is three years old and his persistence on acting like an adult makes me terribly baby feverish.
Wednesday, July 8, 2009
Saturday, July 4, 2009
Mortality
This past few weeks have been a bombshell what with all the celebrity deaths and all. In learning more about the circumstances around these deaths I began thinking more heavily about my own mortality, more so now than ever. Billy Mays and Michael Jackson died in their sleep. Sometime through the course of the night their breathing slowed, their hearts stopped and they ceased to exist. This is terribly frightening considering they both went to bed thinking about what they needed to or were going to do the next day. Perhaps they went to bed contemplating plans for the future, a future that would never be.
Last week I woke up at 1:37 a.m. and I was terrified. My body was tingling from head to toe and felt slightly like I was paralyzed although I was able to move. My head was pounding something fierce. I got up,went to the bathroom and took some Excedrine Migraine. As I lay back down, the tingle sensation still there, I began to pray. I have never been deeply religious and for the first time I felt a dear, driving need to pray. And so when I had conclude my conversation with God, I closed my eyes and hoped that they would open the following morning.
I know it seems as though I might have completely overexxaggerated, but let me be clear, I have never felt that sensation before and knowing that one could jus die in their sleep, freaks me just straight out. I was glad to wake up, and I have not felt that way ever since.
Knowing that a life can be lost so quickly without even so much as a warning makes me afraid. I am not ready to die. I am not ready to meet my maker and regardless of what anyone says, I would rather be here, on earth with the family I love and have promised to raise and provide for than in Heaven where there is no pain, hearthache or fear.
Last week I woke up at 1:37 a.m. and I was terrified. My body was tingling from head to toe and felt slightly like I was paralyzed although I was able to move. My head was pounding something fierce. I got up,went to the bathroom and took some Excedrine Migraine. As I lay back down, the tingle sensation still there, I began to pray. I have never been deeply religious and for the first time I felt a dear, driving need to pray. And so when I had conclude my conversation with God, I closed my eyes and hoped that they would open the following morning.
I know it seems as though I might have completely overexxaggerated, but let me be clear, I have never felt that sensation before and knowing that one could jus die in their sleep, freaks me just straight out. I was glad to wake up, and I have not felt that way ever since.
Knowing that a life can be lost so quickly without even so much as a warning makes me afraid. I am not ready to die. I am not ready to meet my maker and regardless of what anyone says, I would rather be here, on earth with the family I love and have promised to raise and provide for than in Heaven where there is no pain, hearthache or fear.
Wednesday, June 24, 2009
Fear
I went to bed with a clear head last night, but as I lay comfortably in my bed a terrifying thought flooded my brain and I could not get to sleep for a while. It is not the first time I have ever thought this exact thing, and every-time it plays out in my head I am left anxiety ridden and afraid.
I was thinking about what would happen if an intruder entered my house while I was alone at home with my three children. What would I do? What could I do? My first thought was to immediately round up my children and flee to my bedroom, lock the door and then go into my closet and lock that door, but what would I do from there? Do I attempt to face the attackers on my own and lock the kids safely in my closet? Maybe I should stay in the closet and try to keep the kids calm. I have no weapon in there so now it might be smart to place our shotgun in the closet just in case this terrifying possibility should come to fruition. If I stay outside the closet, perhaps they would only hurt me and flee sparing the lives of my children. If I hid in the closet with them then they were at just as great a risk if they found us. We also have a crawl space below our house that just so happens to have an entrance within that very closet. Should I get myself and my kids into the crawl space before they can find us? If they do find us, there is no way out. We would surely be caught. My next concern is that even if I could thwart the attackers, could I keep my children quiet enough to keep us from being found? How would I protect my children? Would it really come down to placing a shotgun in my closet and seeking refuge there until they got into the closet and then shoot the attacker? Or will I need to lay my life on the line in HOPES that my children would remain unharmed? This is all so very scary and what does one do to prepare? How should we behave in the event this terribly frightening thought should become a reality?
This only brought up further questions like how would I protect my family if there was a fire? What if something happens at home that renders me unconscious, would my kids know what to do? I wonder if all of this stems from an unconscious feeling of inadequacy as a mother. Or perhaps it's the fear that I cannot control or prepare for everything that might get thrown our way. Does anyone else ever experience this?
I was thinking about what would happen if an intruder entered my house while I was alone at home with my three children. What would I do? What could I do? My first thought was to immediately round up my children and flee to my bedroom, lock the door and then go into my closet and lock that door, but what would I do from there? Do I attempt to face the attackers on my own and lock the kids safely in my closet? Maybe I should stay in the closet and try to keep the kids calm. I have no weapon in there so now it might be smart to place our shotgun in the closet just in case this terrifying possibility should come to fruition. If I stay outside the closet, perhaps they would only hurt me and flee sparing the lives of my children. If I hid in the closet with them then they were at just as great a risk if they found us. We also have a crawl space below our house that just so happens to have an entrance within that very closet. Should I get myself and my kids into the crawl space before they can find us? If they do find us, there is no way out. We would surely be caught. My next concern is that even if I could thwart the attackers, could I keep my children quiet enough to keep us from being found? How would I protect my children? Would it really come down to placing a shotgun in my closet and seeking refuge there until they got into the closet and then shoot the attacker? Or will I need to lay my life on the line in HOPES that my children would remain unharmed? This is all so very scary and what does one do to prepare? How should we behave in the event this terribly frightening thought should become a reality?
This only brought up further questions like how would I protect my family if there was a fire? What if something happens at home that renders me unconscious, would my kids know what to do? I wonder if all of this stems from an unconscious feeling of inadequacy as a mother. Or perhaps it's the fear that I cannot control or prepare for everything that might get thrown our way. Does anyone else ever experience this?
Regrets
When someone dies, people are affected. whether you have known them for a month or for thirty years. Its hard to grasp the concept of death. When someone close to us dies unexpectedly, there are a multitude of questions that you think of. "Why couldn't he have waited 15 more minute before getting on his motorcycle drunk? I was on my way to get him so he would be safe. If I had just driven faster or been there sooner, this would have never happened." we can blame ourselves, in part, because we think there was something we could do for that person, but the truth is, you can only do so much. we are born free in this world and that freedom comes with choices. He made that choice, at that moment to leave, drunk. His life was ended 30 seconds after he left the bar. This should put the situation into perspective for that one who was on her way, for she drives drunk all the time, risking her life and the life of everyone who is on the road at the same time, that the choice she makes when she gets into that car can have serious consequences no matter how sober she thinks she is. I feel for her, she is torn up about his young life lost, the promises for a future, gone, and the safety of his presence missing.
I think of all those people that are in my life now, and try to put into perspective how I would feel if I got the news that they had died suddenly, unexpectedly. There are those that would be devastating. The loss of my children, for example. There are others I would feel peace for, because this life seemed unjust, unfair and difficult. I know that my relationship with some of these people are strained, but if they died, I would harbor no regret. Why? Because despite the pain left in their wake while they were alive, there is an unspoken agreement that there is love, and always will be love no matter what. Those with whom my relationship was non-existent, as I grew into my adulthood, I will feel no regret, for I was a child and they were the adults, and I did my part to love them, but the love on their end was conditional. For them, I say that I will remember the good times, but will not regret where our lives had taken us or torn us apart. I will not regret the words that I have spoken, because no matter how painful or hurtful they may have been at the time, I meant them, I didn't say them out of hurt, or out of anger. I will not regret for those whom I tried to make a meaningful relationship with.
Our lives are not about the "what if"'s or maybe I should have been better. I think our lives are about making the most out of what we have, nurturing those that are close to us, being able to say the things we mean, but knowing that despite how bad those things hurt, that we are loved and that we love unconditionally. Why should we thrive on the death of someone only remembering what we should have or could have done differently?
I think of all those people that are in my life now, and try to put into perspective how I would feel if I got the news that they had died suddenly, unexpectedly. There are those that would be devastating. The loss of my children, for example. There are others I would feel peace for, because this life seemed unjust, unfair and difficult. I know that my relationship with some of these people are strained, but if they died, I would harbor no regret. Why? Because despite the pain left in their wake while they were alive, there is an unspoken agreement that there is love, and always will be love no matter what. Those with whom my relationship was non-existent, as I grew into my adulthood, I will feel no regret, for I was a child and they were the adults, and I did my part to love them, but the love on their end was conditional. For them, I say that I will remember the good times, but will not regret where our lives had taken us or torn us apart. I will not regret the words that I have spoken, because no matter how painful or hurtful they may have been at the time, I meant them, I didn't say them out of hurt, or out of anger. I will not regret for those whom I tried to make a meaningful relationship with.
Our lives are not about the "what if"'s or maybe I should have been better. I think our lives are about making the most out of what we have, nurturing those that are close to us, being able to say the things we mean, but knowing that despite how bad those things hurt, that we are loved and that we love unconditionally. Why should we thrive on the death of someone only remembering what we should have or could have done differently?
Wake-Up Call
Two and a half weeks ago I decided to step on the scale since I was no longer able to pull my jeans up over my hips and was shocked to see that that the 125 pound frame of my youth had exploded to 182 pounds. I about fell off the one inch tall scale, which is lucky for me since at that height, and weight for that matter, I would have busted a hip or sent shock waves throughout my house rivaling those of a magnitude 8.0 earthquake. Talk about a wake-up call. Now, obesity runs in my family, thank you Millmans, and pregnancy and my parents complete disregard for my nutrition when I was younger has evolved into poor eating choices and escalating weight gain comparable to a baby elephant. Geez, I haven't weighed this much since I was in my ninth month of pregnancy, with all three of my children! This is, well, unacceptable. This has to change now!
So I brought up my climbing weight with my ever supportive hubby, who lent me a few words, bless his heart and his loose lips. He said that he had been eyeing my now very rotund backside thinking, to himself of course, that it has become bigger than he had EVER seen it, even more so then swollen, pregnant wife. That was more than a wake-up call, that was a sheer slap in the face. I can't hold it against the poor guy, he was right. So begins my journey to rediscovering myself, and my gluteous-maximus.
I began exercising that day and severely cut my calorie intake as well as those yummy 50 calorie truffles and eggnog I was enjoying, and using to celebrate the festive season. 2 1/2 weeks later, I am only down 5 pounds. I am exercising 1 1/2 to 2 hours a day doing aerobics, kick-boxing and weight training.So why after all this work have I only lost 5 pounds? Granted, I found my biceps and I think my inner thighs are getting less friction than before, but 5 pounds?
I think god personally decided to play a cruel joke on women, making it ten times easier to gain weight than it is to take it off! Now I have learned that you have to nourish your body for successful weight loss, which I have substituted all my meals with healthier versions. So despite my obvious disappointment I continue my vigorous work-out routine and strict diet. Does anyone have any ideas or words of encouragement, since I feel like I have just stripped off all my clothes and bared all? How do I stay the course and stay motivated while boosting my results?
So I brought up my climbing weight with my ever supportive hubby, who lent me a few words, bless his heart and his loose lips. He said that he had been eyeing my now very rotund backside thinking, to himself of course, that it has become bigger than he had EVER seen it, even more so then swollen, pregnant wife. That was more than a wake-up call, that was a sheer slap in the face. I can't hold it against the poor guy, he was right. So begins my journey to rediscovering myself, and my gluteous-maximus.
I began exercising that day and severely cut my calorie intake as well as those yummy 50 calorie truffles and eggnog I was enjoying, and using to celebrate the festive season. 2 1/2 weeks later, I am only down 5 pounds. I am exercising 1 1/2 to 2 hours a day doing aerobics, kick-boxing and weight training.So why after all this work have I only lost 5 pounds? Granted, I found my biceps and I think my inner thighs are getting less friction than before, but 5 pounds?
I think god personally decided to play a cruel joke on women, making it ten times easier to gain weight than it is to take it off! Now I have learned that you have to nourish your body for successful weight loss, which I have substituted all my meals with healthier versions. So despite my obvious disappointment I continue my vigorous work-out routine and strict diet. Does anyone have any ideas or words of encouragement, since I feel like I have just stripped off all my clothes and bared all? How do I stay the course and stay motivated while boosting my results?
The End of Friendship
The Naked Man
I have this great friend Cathy who I would chit chat with every morning over coffee and juice while David was away at Warrant Officer Candidate School. I generally take ninth street, but to save me time, I started to take 7th street. To my surprise, and yes, even during these chilly winter months, there is a man who sits out in front of his garage naked. The chilliness does not help his cause either. Now don't get me wrong, the man has a mean tan, but what happened to modesty? He is usually sitting down in a geri-chair looking thing, and every time I pass by he moves his legs as to hide his "goodies" which is in my best interest, since it would probably scare me. He is an elderly man, which makes this whole situation worse. I have seen him standing up once, sporting...GASP! a speedo...eww....nasty visuals all over again! So the other day as I was on my trek home from said friends house, he was out front again, and I dreaded it. It turns out he was dressed, which is weird, since I didn't think this man owned a pair of socks let a lone a whole set of clothes! When he saw my car approaching he began walking down to the end of his driveway. He was at the edge when I drove by, and I completely avoided him. When I could see him in my side and rear view mirror, I noticed that he was still watching my car and walking back up to the top of his driveway. So the moral of this story...don't drive by said naked mans house, since by the time I got home I was sporting a flat tire, from a nail, which I am sure was his way of formally greeting me with a proverbial F-off! I know it was him...I am watching you naked man...and I believe there are laws against doing what you are doing! Lets not forget the CANCER you are setting yourself up for. But one thing is for sure...you probably don't have osteoporosis and you probably have lots of calcium since vitamin D from the sun helps in its absorption. I can't say that any of this is helping your "goodies", I've seen it. I know.
Father Time is Living in my House
I'm sure I'm not the only person who has ever felt this, but I seem to have a little anxiety as I watch my 26th birthday approach. I mean, I'm now in my late twenty's (late, that's an awful word). Before I know it I will be ringing in my 30's. I have four gray hairs on the top of my head that make a regular appearance every few weeks, despite my efforts to evict them, and fine lines called "crow's feet". I see them more like crevices where the days of my youth seem to be hiding. I am watching my glorious twenties creep away, (whoever said that the twenties were glorious were clearly drunk, stoned and mentally disturbed) and my frightening thirties looming over me like a heinous storm cloud. I shouldn't be afraid of aging, these days people say life gets better as we grow older, but every year that passes, to me, seems to be another year closer to the six foot grave waiting for me at the end of this life. This is not to say that I am not living my life to the fullest, which I am most of the time, but it is never far from my mind. My life up until now has been frought with difficulty, and some aspects of life are still hard to deal with these days, but generally things have become more stable and peaceful. I just hope, for the love of all things beautiful, that I can age gracefully, that I can find peace with my changing face, and set up a rental agreement for those few gray hairs that have taken up residency on the top of my head.
Parental Sacrifice
You know you always hear about those parents who say they make the ultimate sacrifice everyday for their children. I get that, I totally do. There are those parents that move across the country to get their child to a place where they can pursue stardom or those that have mortgaged their house to the max to put their children through ivy league schools. Or what about those that have bailed their children out of jail, like, a billion times? What peeves me is that no one seem to talk about the other serious sacrifices parents make. Let me give some examples. 1) I have not bought new underwear in, like, a century. 1) I can see my toes through my socks, and they did not come that way. 3) I cannot visit the bathroom for any length of time since I am almost ALWAYS interrupted by some emergency, oh, like, "mom, what color is this?" 4) and that my nice Guess purse has turned into a sort of diaper bag carrying everything but my wallet, keys and phone. Now, I will be darned if my kids don't get a new wardrobe every five to six months or so including, but not limited to: white tee shirts, underwear and girly panties, socks and tights, dresses, shoes and big boy jeans. I also make sure to change their toothbrushes every three months. I haven't had the chance, or the money, to change the head of my sonic care for, like, two years. (I run it through the dishwashers Sanitize cycle to get fresh bristles). I also tend to shower ever other day since there is no time to shower everyday, and my wardrobe consists of pajama pants and tee shirts. Did I mention that my hair is tied up in a perpetual birds nest, rivaling that of Amy Winehouse? So while most parents make those big sacrifices, god bless them, I make little ones everyday; my underwear can pay homage to the little sacrifices we parents make on a daily basis for those pint-size humans living in our midst.
The 6-year-old-26-year-old Share
Look, I love school and the opportunity to engage my fellow classmates is a fun, new and exciting experience. I spend my class time helping fellow classmates and listening to the teacher. I do not flirt or engage in non-school-related social banter, It's just not my thing. I do not pay out the nose to attend class only to make friends. I shouldn't need to pay for that! So when a fellow male classmate approached me and asked for my number, I gave him a crust-infused confused look. He noticed my ring, no surprise there, and asked if I was married. I made it pretty clear that I was. Several days following said awkward conversation, he ignored me. No big deal, I was good with that. But recently he began sitting behind me and began tugging my hair, poking my back, kicking my feet and making several very unruly comments to me. Like seriously? This is a 26-year-old man acting like a 6-year-old. What is up with that? It has gotten so bad that a female classmate told him to "keep his hands to himself, she is married", and this afternoon, after being virtually exhausted from his constant annoyance, I turned around and told him to stop it! The guy sitting to my left said something to the effect "Can't you see that he likes you?". Like, sure, I can see that, its just now past the point of slight annoyance, now its to the point where I need to move seats! I have a hard time with the fact that I am overweight and I feel terrible about myself, and then smooth talker comes along and he is sooo over-bearing that I almost think he might be joking just to make a fool out of me. This makes me feel potentially worse about myself. Seriously, how do you deal with this kind of crap?
25 thing you may not know about me
1. I have a Chihuahua, who until recently, I thought had mastered the potty outside thing until I was re-doing my closet and found, yes this is gross, piles of tiny poops hidden behind the forest of clothes and sleeves that have been "marked". I have to hand it to the little guy though, he had great aim for something he isn't looking at while he is doing it. He has been banned from all rooms but the living room where I can keep a watchful eye on him!
2. I cannot stand to mix my food when eat. Further, I cannot drink with a mouthful of food either, like my husband, who complains when I do notshare my drink with him. can we say gross man floaties?
3. I loathe the idea of using a sponge past the stinky, garbage smell stage, unlike my husband who does not mind washing our dishes we eat with with a bacteria laden playground. I especially love the stinky, bacteria face brush he gives me after he has finished with the dishes. uh-huh, I promptly send his tush to wash his hands, with bleach and an SOS pad.
4. I have abnormally tiny feet, and ugly small nubby toes that DO NOT look good in a pair of peep-toe heels. Sorry Christian L. but I will not be your shoe model this year.
5. My fingers are just as abnormally small, which look worse after a nail-biting episode, since it looks like an alligator gave me a manicure.
6. I can officially say that I have been covered in Thin-set, balancing a heavy 12"X12" tile covered in thin-set goo as well, in my new white pants, while trying to remove my husbands new earbuds that are stuck, vicariously, to the setting thin-set smeared on the back of the tile. All this and the Kicker? I had a gob in my hair and my ear....I never felt it land there...
7. I was able to save the earbuds and pass them off as if nothing had happened to them, he will never know, will he?
8. I have become a Misanthorpe, from my days living in a tiny, crap-hole town with crap-hole people. Oh, you like that? I used a big word, look it up.
9. I have become unreasonably sensitive to being cold, just ask a hubby who has slaved over the wood burning stove and gotten the house temp to a cozy 84 degrees while I moan and shiver, "I am still cold!"
10. I have a little, big-brown eyed boy who knows how to tug my heart-strings, even worse? he has mastered the "scream and kick as loud and as long as I want to" because I give in everytime. The worst part? I hate it, and have no idea how to stop it!
11. I have a daughter, even though I hate to admit it, who surprises me everyday with how smart she is! She was a slow speaker and now she is reading Harry Potter at 8. Her class is still reading "Dick and Jane".
12. I have a crazy soft spot for all little Debbies heavenly goodness. If there is even one box in the house, it is gone before you turn aound. I lack self control.
13. I love my hair, although I am finding myself more frustrated at the curly-que's and gray hairs that seem to be sprouting, right on top, right in front, like they are just begging to be seen.
14. I wish that I were a better visual artist. I have a desire to paint or sketch and I am just terrible at it. my professor is right, stick figures are my firends.
15. I haven't sung in a group for nearly nine years, which, when I put it that way, feels like an eternity. Music is the other half of my soul and it is no wonder I feel so empty.
16. Can't stand it that people assume that because I am going to be a music teacher, I am already set up to teach. And even worse, I am not profficient at the Piano, give me a break!
17. I brag about having played the violin, but have been "not" playing the violin longer than I ever played the violin.
18. Which makes me terribly sad and frustrated.
19. I am smart, I am intelligent, I just have to find a way to get it all out!
20. I cannot stand lotion. It's like smearing water on our skin, it does not help. I like creams, the ones that make you feel like a sticky mess one you are done. Now that is a product that works.
21. Tend to favor my little long-haired, fuzzy-eared black Chihuahua, since her face is so darned cute and lovable.
22. I am having baby fever. I know, another baby, but I am. My babies are growing up and I am feeling a little less needed everyday. I have a two year old who insists on cutting his own food with his spoon. He will perform number 10 if I don't.
23. Still has a 8 year-old who hasn't figured out how to cut her own food, go figure.
24. Had my teeth done, since I had two gaping holes where my teeth used to be. (as a result of my cleft).
25. Is scared of EVERYTHING! The sun, since it will give me cancer, speeding, since it will kill me, bathing in deep water, since I could drowned, strangers, since they will steal from me, hurt me and hurt my kids, my husband being late, since he might have been hurt in a car accident, and sleeping with my hands near my face, since my ring could gouge my eyes while I slept. Yep, I know it sounds crazy, but life has me changing my britches at every turn. I should invest in some depends.
2. I cannot stand to mix my food when eat. Further, I cannot drink with a mouthful of food either, like my husband, who complains when I do notshare my drink with him. can we say gross man floaties?
3. I loathe the idea of using a sponge past the stinky, garbage smell stage, unlike my husband who does not mind washing our dishes we eat with with a bacteria laden playground. I especially love the stinky, bacteria face brush he gives me after he has finished with the dishes. uh-huh, I promptly send his tush to wash his hands, with bleach and an SOS pad.
4. I have abnormally tiny feet, and ugly small nubby toes that DO NOT look good in a pair of peep-toe heels. Sorry Christian L. but I will not be your shoe model this year.
5. My fingers are just as abnormally small, which look worse after a nail-biting episode, since it looks like an alligator gave me a manicure.
6. I can officially say that I have been covered in Thin-set, balancing a heavy 12"X12" tile covered in thin-set goo as well, in my new white pants, while trying to remove my husbands new earbuds that are stuck, vicariously, to the setting thin-set smeared on the back of the tile. All this and the Kicker? I had a gob in my hair and my ear....I never felt it land there...
7. I was able to save the earbuds and pass them off as if nothing had happened to them, he will never know, will he?
8. I have become a Misanthorpe, from my days living in a tiny, crap-hole town with crap-hole people. Oh, you like that? I used a big word, look it up.
9. I have become unreasonably sensitive to being cold, just ask a hubby who has slaved over the wood burning stove and gotten the house temp to a cozy 84 degrees while I moan and shiver, "I am still cold!"
10. I have a little, big-brown eyed boy who knows how to tug my heart-strings, even worse? he has mastered the "scream and kick as loud and as long as I want to" because I give in everytime. The worst part? I hate it, and have no idea how to stop it!
11. I have a daughter, even though I hate to admit it, who surprises me everyday with how smart she is! She was a slow speaker and now she is reading Harry Potter at 8. Her class is still reading "Dick and Jane".
12. I have a crazy soft spot for all little Debbies heavenly goodness. If there is even one box in the house, it is gone before you turn aound. I lack self control.
13. I love my hair, although I am finding myself more frustrated at the curly-que's and gray hairs that seem to be sprouting, right on top, right in front, like they are just begging to be seen.
14. I wish that I were a better visual artist. I have a desire to paint or sketch and I am just terrible at it. my professor is right, stick figures are my firends.
15. I haven't sung in a group for nearly nine years, which, when I put it that way, feels like an eternity. Music is the other half of my soul and it is no wonder I feel so empty.
16. Can't stand it that people assume that because I am going to be a music teacher, I am already set up to teach. And even worse, I am not profficient at the Piano, give me a break!
17. I brag about having played the violin, but have been "not" playing the violin longer than I ever played the violin.
18. Which makes me terribly sad and frustrated.
19. I am smart, I am intelligent, I just have to find a way to get it all out!
20. I cannot stand lotion. It's like smearing water on our skin, it does not help. I like creams, the ones that make you feel like a sticky mess one you are done. Now that is a product that works.
21. Tend to favor my little long-haired, fuzzy-eared black Chihuahua, since her face is so darned cute and lovable.
22. I am having baby fever. I know, another baby, but I am. My babies are growing up and I am feeling a little less needed everyday. I have a two year old who insists on cutting his own food with his spoon. He will perform number 10 if I don't.
23. Still has a 8 year-old who hasn't figured out how to cut her own food, go figure.
24. Had my teeth done, since I had two gaping holes where my teeth used to be. (as a result of my cleft).
25. Is scared of EVERYTHING! The sun, since it will give me cancer, speeding, since it will kill me, bathing in deep water, since I could drowned, strangers, since they will steal from me, hurt me and hurt my kids, my husband being late, since he might have been hurt in a car accident, and sleeping with my hands near my face, since my ring could gouge my eyes while I slept. Yep, I know it sounds crazy, but life has me changing my britches at every turn. I should invest in some depends.
The meaning of a mother Share
I am a mother. Throughout my adventure as such, I have learned many things. Being a mother means waking up in the middle of the night just to make sure your children are safe. Making a three generation old recipe to cure a sore throat. Rubbing the fevered head till the sickly child falls asleep. Keeping an ungodly stash of band-aids even for the boo-boos that don't really need them. Holding your kids when they are sad. Celebrating when they are happy. Wiping the infintely runny nose. Wiping the tears.Taking the shirt off your back just to give a little more warmth. Playing with matchbox cars at the dinner table. Making meals that are nutritious to teach children the value of healthy foods. Celebrate victory with ice cream or a popsicle. Buying new clothes and tossing the old so children look decent. Killing the ever dangerous spider crawling on the floor. Waking up before the kids to get those few minutes not ususally afforded to oneself. Making breakfast for dinner, just for fun. Searching for the lost shoe or missing sock. Washing ten load of laundry a week. Spraying every surface with Lysol before the rest of house contracts the deadly cold. Teaching your kids the value of kindness. Showing them how to save their money. Celebrating who they are and what they want to be. Teaching them the value of a well-lived life. Consoling the one who has just lost a loved one. Healing the scraped knee with a kiss. Making hot coco and popcorn on friday family nights. Driving safely, even when the kids are not in the car. Making cupcakes for birthday parties at school. Reading a nighttime story. Cleaning up the remnants of an upset stomach off of the couch. Laughing, Dancing, Singing and playing hide and seek to relieve stress and build an unbreakable bond. Loving them with all of the heart that god has given you.
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